From the recording New Singles
Written by Audra Coldiron
All instruments and production by Audra Coldiron
Mix by The Animal Farm
Lyrics
Peter Meter
At my grandma Rita's place
bitchin' about what's-his-face
and how he left me high and dry
She lifted up my chin
and said, “Honey Pie, I don't know him
but I have a hunch I might know why.”
“There's only one way to keep a lover
It's time I tell you what I told your mother.”
“You need to feed his Peter Meter
I guarantee he'll be sweeter
I guarantee that he'll love you
the more that he can get up on you”
I looked at Grandma with wide eyes
full of wonder and surprise
Flabbergasted by what she said.
Then she said, “Furthermore, men have a need
to spread around their bio seed
so it's best you keep him busy in bed.”
“That's the only thing that's sure to
keep your fella always with you”
“You need to feed his Peter Meter
I guarantee he'll be sweeter
I guarantee that he'll love you
the more that he can get up on you.”
“You need to feed his Peter Meter
I guarantee he'll be sweeter
and if you learn what I teach you
he'll never ever ever leave you.”
“So here's what you do when he comes home from work
as long as he hasn't been a jerk:”
“You just shake it and shake it
shake your body to wake it
then you take it to the bedroom
where you make it – do the dirty dance”
“So that's shake it to wake it then make it – do the dirty dance (3x)
Sometimes you'll probably have to fake it”
“But you need to feed his Peter Meter
I guarantee he'll be sweeter
I guarantee that he'll love you
the more that he can get up on you.”
“You need to feed his Peter Meter
If you don't, you'll make a cheater
And if you do, he'll never leave ya.”
So says my Grandma Rita.
So feed the meter
he'll be sweeter
feed the meter
Peter Meter